Emem Tomislava. kids. October 10th , 2017.
When required to write, children with written production problems frequently engage in numerous avoidance behaviors. They have to go to the bathroom; they need to sharpen their pencils; they need a Kleenex from their backpack. Sometimes they just sit and stare. Even disrupting the class and getting in trouble may be less painful for them than writing. Work that could be completed in one hour takes three hours because they put off the dreadful task of writing.
Whenever I do have to have a difficult discussion with one of my sons, I will often lay out the reason that I am upset or said another way, the purpose that I want to achieve. For example, I might say, Look, you and I both know that I want you to always be safe. Now we may disagree on what is safe enough, but I think we both agree on that goal. I may think you have to hold my hand to cross the street until you are 18 years old, you may think that bungee jumping from a helicopter over a minefield at age 8 is not unsafe. But we both agree that you should be safe. Correct? Once we set up a common goal, we can discuss and compromise on what is safe behavior.
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Mostly the focus of the well attended classes deals with showing parents how to handle those inevitable conflicts that crop up when it comes to issues with the kids. This of course usually happens even more often "after" the split. The anger and frustration needs a place to go in more positive ways, and the parents need to learn to problem solve as a team before things break down into an all-out war.
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